Finding true love online has always been debatable. Some say; you can’t fall in love with a total stranger. Well, no matter where you meet someone, initially they are a stranger. There is no way around that.
When finding love online, you have to approach it differently. Take your time...do not let your loneliness force you to rush into a relationship blindly.
If you do? You will be sorry...
Ask subtle questions...”are you close to your family?” If their entire family has disowned them, there is probably a very good reason. Don’t overlook this bit of information.
“Do you see your children often?” If the response is no...and they go on a verbal tirade about how unfair the family court laws are...and if they had their way, they wouldn’t pay a dime! He could be telling you, he doesn’t take his responsibilities seriously. And, if he could find a way out of his obligations, he would gladly take it! Big Red Flag...
“Do you enjoy what you do?” What you don’t want to hear is: “I hate my job, my bosses and my coworkers! The whole country is screwed up! The rich get richer, and us poor saps just get poorer! One of these days...I’m going to take what’s mine!”
Bright Red Flag...
The response to a simple question like, “so, how are you?” can give you a lot of clues!
Listen closely to the tone as well as the response...“My day? You don’t even want to know! My shoe heel got caught on the frayed carpet and I stumbled and fell. Then when I went to get the newspaper, the gate was open and the neighbor’s stupid, yapping dog was peeing on it! Now, if that wasn’t enough, I was stopped because my brake light wasn’t working, and the cop had the nerve to say I had a bad attitude! Hell yeah I had an attitude...because of him, I was late to work!...Again!” He refuses to take responsibility for any part of his life. Everything that happened was totally under his control. Blind-as-a-bat-red flag!
Yes, finding true love online is possible! Online and off, people give us clues to who they are. If we choose to ignore the clues, we have no one to blame but ourselves. Don’t let that happen to you. There are quality singles online to fall in love with. Don’t let yourself settle for anything less!
by: Vivian Johnson
Tampilkan postingan dengan label self improvement. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label self improvement. Tampilkan semua postingan
Selasa, 13 Januari 2009
Minggu, 11 Januari 2009
To Love Or To Be In Love
by: Adeyemi Adetosoye
What is the basic difference between loving someone and being in love with the person? Before we can be sure that we have found true love, we need to be sure what these two terminologies mean.
Is it possible to meet someone, connect with the person and love the person’s personality, way of life, etc? Truly be comfortable with such a person? Certainly! Most of us know significant others in our lives who fall into this category. At the same time, it is possible to totally connect with a significant other and feel the butterflies every time with this person.
But the latter scenario could very much be a crush or an obsession. How do we know that our feelings don’t fall into the latter group? To understand my discourse, we need to understand the various emotions at work in the different scenarios.
Firstly, the crush or obsession: One feels a crush for another person, for no good reason at all. Often, the object of the crush may not even be aware of it. It can be described as an irrational desire and/or admiration for the other person, which is totally uncalled for, or has no rational cause. Usually, this desire is almost purely physical: has to do with physical beauty, carriage, manners, smell, etc of the other person. It is a likeness from a distance, such that one has for someone whom one doesn’t even speak to, or in close proximity, with someone whom one just says hello. At best, these feelings are juvenile, immature and usually manifest in the awkward years of a teenager.
The obsession, however, is a more mature form of the crush. While the crush may be teenage in origin, the obsession stems from an advanced stage of the crush, where emotions and thoughts have been nurtured continuously to an inferno. Usually, at the obsessive stage, the obsessive person has plucked up the courage to develop some little relationship with the object of his or her desire without the latter being aware of it. What makes the latter an obsession is that the object of the desire is either unaware of this desire, or doesn’t appreciate it.
Now, to the crux: What is the difference between being in love and not being in love? It is the butterflies! When a relationship is still young, and both parties are starry-eyed about each other, they believe they are in love. They feel the butterflies. But true love must be tested, time and again.
Love that tests true to diverse storms and passes the true love tests may not feel the butterflies and starry-eyed-ness of the young hot couple next door, who can’t take their eyes or hands off each other. When a relationship which goes through stormy times (this is a must for every relationship) and still endures, it means that the butterflies still persist. The other person still gives you a reason to hold on; still has that something; the fire, the smile, the look in their eyes, the personality, the charm to make you still hold on, despite all the ups and downs. At this level, you know that you love that person truly.
But what about the others that are really sweet and loveable people? Sure, they exist; we definitely do know them. These are people we do love, but not with the same intensity. Yes, we will miss them in our lives, if it comes down to it; yes, we will miss them like we will miss an old friend or colleague or a really dear one. This is the love we have for our family members but may not quite make the grade, when it comes to a life partner. The love you have for someone you want to make your life partner needs to be stronger than filial love, because you want to hang in there, for better or worse, till death do us part.
Understanding these core differences, immediately opens our eye of understanding to know exactly what emotions we feel and where we stand with the various loved ones in our lives.
What is the basic difference between loving someone and being in love with the person? Before we can be sure that we have found true love, we need to be sure what these two terminologies mean.
Is it possible to meet someone, connect with the person and love the person’s personality, way of life, etc? Truly be comfortable with such a person? Certainly! Most of us know significant others in our lives who fall into this category. At the same time, it is possible to totally connect with a significant other and feel the butterflies every time with this person.
But the latter scenario could very much be a crush or an obsession. How do we know that our feelings don’t fall into the latter group? To understand my discourse, we need to understand the various emotions at work in the different scenarios.
Firstly, the crush or obsession: One feels a crush for another person, for no good reason at all. Often, the object of the crush may not even be aware of it. It can be described as an irrational desire and/or admiration for the other person, which is totally uncalled for, or has no rational cause. Usually, this desire is almost purely physical: has to do with physical beauty, carriage, manners, smell, etc of the other person. It is a likeness from a distance, such that one has for someone whom one doesn’t even speak to, or in close proximity, with someone whom one just says hello. At best, these feelings are juvenile, immature and usually manifest in the awkward years of a teenager.
The obsession, however, is a more mature form of the crush. While the crush may be teenage in origin, the obsession stems from an advanced stage of the crush, where emotions and thoughts have been nurtured continuously to an inferno. Usually, at the obsessive stage, the obsessive person has plucked up the courage to develop some little relationship with the object of his or her desire without the latter being aware of it. What makes the latter an obsession is that the object of the desire is either unaware of this desire, or doesn’t appreciate it.
Now, to the crux: What is the difference between being in love and not being in love? It is the butterflies! When a relationship is still young, and both parties are starry-eyed about each other, they believe they are in love. They feel the butterflies. But true love must be tested, time and again.
Love that tests true to diverse storms and passes the true love tests may not feel the butterflies and starry-eyed-ness of the young hot couple next door, who can’t take their eyes or hands off each other. When a relationship which goes through stormy times (this is a must for every relationship) and still endures, it means that the butterflies still persist. The other person still gives you a reason to hold on; still has that something; the fire, the smile, the look in their eyes, the personality, the charm to make you still hold on, despite all the ups and downs. At this level, you know that you love that person truly.
But what about the others that are really sweet and loveable people? Sure, they exist; we definitely do know them. These are people we do love, but not with the same intensity. Yes, we will miss them in our lives, if it comes down to it; yes, we will miss them like we will miss an old friend or colleague or a really dear one. This is the love we have for our family members but may not quite make the grade, when it comes to a life partner. The love you have for someone you want to make your life partner needs to be stronger than filial love, because you want to hang in there, for better or worse, till death do us part.
Understanding these core differences, immediately opens our eye of understanding to know exactly what emotions we feel and where we stand with the various loved ones in our lives.
Can Friendship Turn To Romance?
by: Jason Rase
It is important to be really systematic for turning friendship into romance. Friendship and romance are inseparable in many cases, but it is not universally true for all. Many people are enjoying their romantic life that they started with friendship a long back. On the other hand, the diametrically opposite situation may happen to your life also…you can lose your intimate friend in the mire of romance. It is the mystery of psychology that propels human beings to behave like this. But, we should always follow what our mind directs us to do. If you feel to make a romantic relationship with your friend, do not hesitate to march forward until you get him/her.
Just think of the situation – you have a friend, who understands you well, who knows you and would stand beside you in all situations; he/she is certainly the perfect match for your romantic life. The most important thing is that your have to be pragmatic enough to make her/him understand the situation, otherwise everything will be lost in the wave of time.
Romancing close friends can be risky – they may take the relationship as granted at the beginning…and you may have to face a false situation. If you are honest about your aims and objectives, do not hesitate! You know her well right from her earlier days and vice versa…and it is assumed that the relationship that exists between you can never be altered even if the sky comes down to the earth. A true friend can bring success, happiness and all the treasures in life. Honesty will pay for you and if you are honest to bring your relationship to romance, none has the power to stop that.
Most of the people assume lot of things at the beginning of any friendship. They start daydreaming and finish as a loser. It should be kept in mind that mere assuming would not pay you until you have an utmost desire to fulfill your demand. If you are too crazy to make a romantic relationship with your close friend…take time and wait for the perfect time to tell her. You would have to change certain things of you. Your lip service can play a big role to canalize your friendship to romance. Tell expressively and persuasively that you love her from your heart. If she does not want to change the equation of the relationship immediately, do not be worried; keep on persuading her and you would get the result in no time. In such cases faith and honesty work a lot.
It is necessary to bring certain changes within you; otherwise it would be too tough for you to transfer your relationship from friendship to romance. First of all, get a different look – always dress elegantly and spray perfume frequently, so that she can observe some changes in you. Be realistic and create an opportunity for her to come closure to you. Suppose, both of you are in a stroll, what you need to do is that place your palm near her waist and smoothly start rubbing until she gets aroused sexually. Wait for the perfect time - hold her hand and kiss. If she agrees with your gesture, carry on kissing in different places including lip, breast and more. Try to be direct with her and make no hesitation in asking for dating. Say, whatever you have at the earliest, because nobody knows what may happen in the days to come. Still, you need to be practical enough to judge the perfect time and place and of course, of the mental state of your beloved. Be true to your heart and do not fear from rejection. Keep a positive outlook and you can earn your desired soul by applying the tried and tested law.
Once she shows any positive sign of continuing romance, try to make it doubly sure by giving her romantic gifts and sumptuous treats at renowned restaurants. Whenever you get spare time, go to your nearby park or at the riverside. Speak in romantic tone and pick out some happy memories of the past. It will simply create magic for you. Make scope for her to vent out her emotional stories of her life. Sit closer to her and continue rubbing her body, so that she can feel good. Look for the opportunity to stimulate her physically as well as emotionally… if you can do so, you are rest assured of winning half the battle. She is not expected to tell about this incident to anyone; it is because of two separate reasons. Firstly, she would not like to create any gossip amongst her friends and secondly, she would not like to debar her from getting sexual pleasure.
So, be free from hesitation and enjoy the ultimate friendship through making love. Always remember the proverb – "Marriages are made in heaven" and if it is true, you do not need to bother about the consequences. Go and tell your friend!!! She would definitely reciprocate your feelings. It is quite possible that she is also making her mind for you…
It is important to be really systematic for turning friendship into romance. Friendship and romance are inseparable in many cases, but it is not universally true for all. Many people are enjoying their romantic life that they started with friendship a long back. On the other hand, the diametrically opposite situation may happen to your life also…you can lose your intimate friend in the mire of romance. It is the mystery of psychology that propels human beings to behave like this. But, we should always follow what our mind directs us to do. If you feel to make a romantic relationship with your friend, do not hesitate to march forward until you get him/her.
Just think of the situation – you have a friend, who understands you well, who knows you and would stand beside you in all situations; he/she is certainly the perfect match for your romantic life. The most important thing is that your have to be pragmatic enough to make her/him understand the situation, otherwise everything will be lost in the wave of time.
Romancing close friends can be risky – they may take the relationship as granted at the beginning…and you may have to face a false situation. If you are honest about your aims and objectives, do not hesitate! You know her well right from her earlier days and vice versa…and it is assumed that the relationship that exists between you can never be altered even if the sky comes down to the earth. A true friend can bring success, happiness and all the treasures in life. Honesty will pay for you and if you are honest to bring your relationship to romance, none has the power to stop that.
Most of the people assume lot of things at the beginning of any friendship. They start daydreaming and finish as a loser. It should be kept in mind that mere assuming would not pay you until you have an utmost desire to fulfill your demand. If you are too crazy to make a romantic relationship with your close friend…take time and wait for the perfect time to tell her. You would have to change certain things of you. Your lip service can play a big role to canalize your friendship to romance. Tell expressively and persuasively that you love her from your heart. If she does not want to change the equation of the relationship immediately, do not be worried; keep on persuading her and you would get the result in no time. In such cases faith and honesty work a lot.
It is necessary to bring certain changes within you; otherwise it would be too tough for you to transfer your relationship from friendship to romance. First of all, get a different look – always dress elegantly and spray perfume frequently, so that she can observe some changes in you. Be realistic and create an opportunity for her to come closure to you. Suppose, both of you are in a stroll, what you need to do is that place your palm near her waist and smoothly start rubbing until she gets aroused sexually. Wait for the perfect time - hold her hand and kiss. If she agrees with your gesture, carry on kissing in different places including lip, breast and more. Try to be direct with her and make no hesitation in asking for dating. Say, whatever you have at the earliest, because nobody knows what may happen in the days to come. Still, you need to be practical enough to judge the perfect time and place and of course, of the mental state of your beloved. Be true to your heart and do not fear from rejection. Keep a positive outlook and you can earn your desired soul by applying the tried and tested law.
Once she shows any positive sign of continuing romance, try to make it doubly sure by giving her romantic gifts and sumptuous treats at renowned restaurants. Whenever you get spare time, go to your nearby park or at the riverside. Speak in romantic tone and pick out some happy memories of the past. It will simply create magic for you. Make scope for her to vent out her emotional stories of her life. Sit closer to her and continue rubbing her body, so that she can feel good. Look for the opportunity to stimulate her physically as well as emotionally… if you can do so, you are rest assured of winning half the battle. She is not expected to tell about this incident to anyone; it is because of two separate reasons. Firstly, she would not like to create any gossip amongst her friends and secondly, she would not like to debar her from getting sexual pleasure.
So, be free from hesitation and enjoy the ultimate friendship through making love. Always remember the proverb – "Marriages are made in heaven" and if it is true, you do not need to bother about the consequences. Go and tell your friend!!! She would definitely reciprocate your feelings. It is quite possible that she is also making her mind for you…
IDENTIFYING TRUE LOVE
We can only identify true love and know when we have found it, based on the Word of God. When we match our relationships up to what the Bible says that love is—and we are honestly prepared to make a life-long commitment to that person—then we can say that we are truly “in love.” The three keys to that statement are:
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